we want more lonliness!!!

well than. it seems that the lonliness of the long distance runner is standing still for a little bit but mr. ray is still working. since i dont want to break the chain of videos from that set on this blog. i will post the two videos from a new set on my other blog. you know, the one with the nonsence and sex. his two newes videos are in a set called, Sad Eyed Lady of the Lowlands, and still putting me in awe.

click here to go to my other blog and watch them.

okay well for this post. ima give you another taste of the mixtape ive been claiming will come to life.



also this because my skin started falling off when i stumbled across this video.

mix-tape mix-taste and a rant

ima be posting the mixtape playlist in a couple of weeks. i just gotta take a drivers course. haha. that has nothing to do with the mixtape. i will continue to bring up the idea for the mixtape and if you are interested. comment the posts that talk about it. this one is gonna be good. maybe ill hook you up with goodies if you show some love.
also, if there is a song that is defining your fall season. tell me about it. ill take it in and let it make magic all over the walls. something to expect from a potential hard copy

its not like i want to get away because of something i hate. although, im not a fan of how school feels. i really dont like the culture. i acutally feel like shit when i think about where i am. when i sit and think about where i live, i buggs me. i am stuck on the grid known as on post housing for military families. please dont take me as unappreciative. i love my mother. she has done so much for me. i honestly wish she didnt live on post. i wish none of them did. they should all have houses on the beach or ontop of hills becuase of the kind of effort they put in for this country. but eh, this is how it happened. and we are gonna face it til we are ready to move on.
i want to leave. i cant really justify why i want to. at least not in a logical way. like, i really like how that field looks, it meets the sky perfectly. logically, i dont have a good reason. i dont plan to build a house on that land. there is no growth for me in that location. i am perfectly satisified with looking at it. even for a couple seconds. i wont get bored or think on it too long. just enough to develop a feeling. and with this town ive developed the feeling. i do not plan to explain myself. this place doesnt feel good and the idea of the pacific north west does. maybe when i get there ill end up changing my mind. but i am positive that there is more growth, especially compared to here.
im ranting like hell. fuck it.

what an inspiration

all of this music and all of these videos have been a big part of my days recently.
in the middle of december, i will post a mixtape of a sort. all of my fall listenings.
i am a beliver in fall music. just like how there are summer anthems and hits. about summer love and being with friends.
fall has always impacted me the most. always. the weather always reminds me of what comfort is.
i dont mean comfort like temperature really. i am honestly a warm weather person.
i mean comfort. understanding what you want most. wanting over needing. and being comfortable with how i feel with what i want.
these songs will be there for me.
and whenever i listen to the songs again, next year or the year after, the reflections will be of warmth. the warmth that is to be found.