a recordimg done by tascha and i

last night. tascha and i drove back to my house with the intent to write some parts to a song we started throwing together with captain josh from kempner. at my house, my step dad needed help moving the piano and such to make room for the christmas tree. after that game of living room tetris we went to work.
we set up the microphones and started up the software, and whadda you know, we didnt even touch that song we origionally intended to dabble with. instead, i played a g chord and tascha started singing a song which we commonly play for family and during the occasional party. we decided to record that and were very pleased with the results. this song is origionally played with a full band and there is a guitar solo somewhere in the middle (tascha usually hums the solo). instead of the old fashioned hum, this time, she used a kazoo. WOO! the track came out great.
i dropped my mixing skills, made the recording sound pretty, and threw in some samples from a tape cassette which sometime between 1996-1997, was used as an answering maching tape for when my siblings and i would call my mom to say hello.
the song was origionally written by She & Him and is called Blackhole.
i hope you love it.

Blackhole (She & Him) - Kelly No Knuckle

we came up with kelly no knuckle because as i was mixing it, tascha found out that her sister doesnt have a thumb knuckle on one of her hands. interesting thing to learn after 11 years.
leave some feedback

we want more lonliness!!!

well than. it seems that the lonliness of the long distance runner is standing still for a little bit but mr. ray is still working. since i dont want to break the chain of videos from that set on this blog. i will post the two videos from a new set on my other blog. you know, the one with the nonsence and sex. his two newes videos are in a set called, Sad Eyed Lady of the Lowlands, and still putting me in awe.

click here to go to my other blog and watch them.

okay well for this post. ima give you another taste of the mixtape ive been claiming will come to life.



also this because my skin started falling off when i stumbled across this video.

mix-tape mix-taste and a rant

ima be posting the mixtape playlist in a couple of weeks. i just gotta take a drivers course. haha. that has nothing to do with the mixtape. i will continue to bring up the idea for the mixtape and if you are interested. comment the posts that talk about it. this one is gonna be good. maybe ill hook you up with goodies if you show some love.
also, if there is a song that is defining your fall season. tell me about it. ill take it in and let it make magic all over the walls. something to expect from a potential hard copy

its not like i want to get away because of something i hate. although, im not a fan of how school feels. i really dont like the culture. i acutally feel like shit when i think about where i am. when i sit and think about where i live, i buggs me. i am stuck on the grid known as on post housing for military families. please dont take me as unappreciative. i love my mother. she has done so much for me. i honestly wish she didnt live on post. i wish none of them did. they should all have houses on the beach or ontop of hills becuase of the kind of effort they put in for this country. but eh, this is how it happened. and we are gonna face it til we are ready to move on.
i want to leave. i cant really justify why i want to. at least not in a logical way. like, i really like how that field looks, it meets the sky perfectly. logically, i dont have a good reason. i dont plan to build a house on that land. there is no growth for me in that location. i am perfectly satisified with looking at it. even for a couple seconds. i wont get bored or think on it too long. just enough to develop a feeling. and with this town ive developed the feeling. i do not plan to explain myself. this place doesnt feel good and the idea of the pacific north west does. maybe when i get there ill end up changing my mind. but i am positive that there is more growth, especially compared to here.
im ranting like hell. fuck it.

The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner: Julian Lynch

The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner: Julian Lynch [Part 10 of 14] from Ray Concepcioñ on Vimeo.

WOW. i feel like i just died. this is most likly what is heard, when you die, if a clarinet is present and things that you experience when you die is transmitted via sattelite. probily. hmmmm. this song is my alarm clock for the night. but this alarm is signaling that i aught to get some shut eye.
anyways. wear some headphones and watch this in "HD".

The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner: These United States

The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner: These United States [Part 9 of 14] from Ray Concepcioñ on Vimeo.

have them head phones ready and also, try clicking the title of the video. itll take you to his vimeo channel where you can watch in "HD" hmmm. 5.1 surround. i dont think its quite there yet. but the video's aspect ratio and such are still good.
QUALITY SHIT!

my mind was blown on

Tascha and I went to a show last night!
Yesterday morning she notified me that the mountain goats were playing at Antones in Austin, which made us PUMPED! haha. We continuously checked online to make sure the tickets hadn't sold out. Well, come the time when i got out of class at 5:30pm, all was fucked. It sold out. On a Wednesday night??? Don't people have work and stuff in the morning? FUCK IT! We still went.
We blew up everyone on craigslist with potential tickets. On the way there we got a call, this call had reserved us one ticket! Now we just need another. Continuously checking email and craigslist, we follow I35. We make it to Antones and do the ticket/money exchange with homeboy from craigslist. We got in line with hopes for a scalper to come around with a ticket. No luck.
Lots more people needed tickets were standing off to the side to catch that person whose date didn't show up and were in the same position we were, begging. This was starting to make us sweat a little. We came so far and so did they.
"did anybody realize that they really don't like the mountain goats and are confused about why you're still in line? i can help resolve this conflict. just sell me your ticket and walk away."
Well, cutting out about an hour and a half of this, a very kind lad had and extra ticket on will call and we got in! WOOOOOO!
fantastic!
Only got to see the last bit of the first act. SHE HAD A FANTASTIC VOICE AND A MOUTH TO GO WITH IT! ha. Larkin Grimm was good. I wish we coulda gotten a bigger taste.

Okay, The Mountain Goats were fantastic. John Darnielle is hilarious. The conversational bits between songs had the crowd cracking up. He is for sure a delightfully awkward dude with his glasses and such. If he wasn't a musician, he would be a techie for a radio station or something.
The acoustic songs had my attention. There was a song that i was very, very into. I have never heard it but later found out. Color in Your Cheeks. I couldn't find an mp3 to post today but since I am putting together a mix tape for you..... have your hopes high.

This blog isn't really about The Mountain Goats or Larkin Grimm with here giant chompers, they were fantastic. My mind was blown on by our good sir, Owen Pallett as Final Fantasy.
JESUS!!! That dude has talent. Ive never seen anything like his performance. Looping sounds and melodies with his violen and looping over those, all in real time. I was mesmerized. Also, his percussionist/guitarist was a trip. The man was a beast on the guitar. My favorite part of the entire show was him covering Joanna Newsome. WOAH! Did not expect that. Because I suck and waste all of my money on fast food and cigarettes, I do not have a fancy video camera yet and have to post from youtube and such. Although this video is not from last night, it gets the point across well.



He did great!
After the show, Tascha and I had body pains from hell. Starving, we ate ourselves some of that JUMBO JACK from Jack in the Box. HEALTHY!! and we smoked cigarettes.
We drove back to Killeen from Austin, got to her room, and passed the fuck out.

but okay. i am out of words.
*note to self, buy a camera

The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner: Big Troubles

The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner: Big Troubles [Part 8 of 14] from Ray Concepcioñ on Vimeo.

eh. this one is not really my favorite. at all. you can barely hear the vocals, which almost turns this song into a pop-punk instrumental. at least in my ears.
here is a good post with a song by them called Grey Days. i totally dig it.
FRIENDSHIP BRACELET <<<--- click, plus theyve got more music and such.

anyways, wear headphones with thes vids.

The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner: Pill Wonder

The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner: Pill Wonder [Part 7 of 14] from Ray Concepcioñ on Vimeo.

smoke crystal meth than listen this, of course wear headphones too.

and the reasons keep pileing in

so today, i went to pick up my little sister from school. the drive is about 20 min there and 20 min back and sometime between this 40 minute time span, a few people decided to fire some rounds at innocent people. us driving had no word of the sort.
we pulled up to the gate, where i flash my military dependant id at the guard to get let onto post, and were let in just as usual.
into our neighborhood. we pull into the drive way and get out. as we walk through the back gate, sirens take over the airspace.
our neighbors start to slowly walk out of their houses to listen in.
Listen to this audio clip now.
We were all very confused. One lady said there was a shooting and to go inside and watch the news.
Woah. Surprisingly enough, in the town i live in, people were being killed, by other people. I am, at this moment, still under lock down.
If you listened to the audio clip, than you have heard what has been repetitively playing from the trees and through the streets of my neighborhood for the past two hours.
They are soldiers and they were upset. there is no justification for what they've done and are still doing but the motives, im sure, go deep.



I am going to move to the pacific northwest very soon.

what an inspiration

all of this music and all of these videos have been a big part of my days recently.
in the middle of december, i will post a mixtape of a sort. all of my fall listenings.
i am a beliver in fall music. just like how there are summer anthems and hits. about summer love and being with friends.
fall has always impacted me the most. always. the weather always reminds me of what comfort is.
i dont mean comfort like temperature really. i am honestly a warm weather person.
i mean comfort. understanding what you want most. wanting over needing. and being comfortable with how i feel with what i want.
these songs will be there for me.
and whenever i listen to the songs again, next year or the year after, the reflections will be of warmth. the warmth that is to be found.

The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner: Alex Bleeker

OH MY GOD! thats exactly what i have to say about that.

The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner: Alex Bleeker [Part 6 of 14] from Ray Concepcioñ on Vimeo.

headphones my brothers and sisters.

The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner: Grooms

The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner: Grooms [Part 5 of 14 from Ray Concepcioñ on Vimeo.

GET YOUR ASS SOME HEADPHONES. the audio is GREAT.
oh and dont be shy. turn off my music player. suddenly, everything is better.

The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner: Air Waves

The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner: Air Waves [Part 4 of 14| from Ray Concepcion on Vimeo.

wear headphones or have a dope ass stereo speaker set up while listening. the audio is FANTASTIC, given they are live recordings.
(its okay, pause my music player. than watch the video. thats the key)

The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner: Mountain Man

The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner: Mountain Man [Part 2 of 14] from Ray Concepcioñ on Vimeo.

wear headphones or have a dope ass stereo speaker set up while listening. the audio is FANTASTIC, given they are live recordings.
(its okay, pause my music player. than watch the video. thats the key)

The Loneliness of the Long Distant Runner: Real Estate

The Loneliness of the Long Distant Runner: Real Estate [Part 3 of 14] from Ray Concepcioñ on Vimeo.

wear headphones or have a dope ass stereo speaker set up while listening. the audio is FANTASTIC, given they are live recordings.
(its okay, pause my music player. than watch the video. thats the key)

The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner: Surfer Blood

I have a new favorite set of videos. Now i just need a huge projector to watch these. That'll fullfill my viewing pleasures.
On the vimeo channel, they ask that if one decides to post a video, to include the entire set. well, the set isnt complete. so each time a new one is posted, i will relay it onto this blog.
also, in the disclaimer for the videos, its stated to wear headphones or have a dope ass stereo speaker set up. the audio is FANTASTIC, given they are live recordings.
anyways, great music, amazing videos, phenominal audio quality, and you being so rad for even coming to my blog.
leave comments.
(by the way, just pause my music player. thats the secret)

The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner: Surfer Blood [ Part 1 of 14] from Ray Concepcioñ on Vimeo.

and that family has pictures

--------------------------------------------------------------

this is the man......

whose pockets make their content............

smell like copenhagen.

he's a good dude.

Dumpfries, VA

so, another attempt to quit/cut back on smoking. i really enjoy singing but i have a very hard time holding a pitch or even singing in an attractive way, because of how much i smoke.
i have no more money. a factor that gets put into play, when i am broke, is how often i bum cigarettes off of my friends. also, i end up rolling cigs. these are indications that i am low on funds.
ive tried quitting a few times but my motivation is always because i know i wont be able to buy another pack tomorrow. the same applys this time. ehh. so ill just say im cutting back.
fuck quitting.
smoking is a luxury i enjoy.
anyways, the method i am using this time is nasty as shit.
i talked to my good friend in florida and his method has worked.
pretty much, nicotine patches are shit. ive tried them before and end up smoking while i have one on. also, i had a hard time sleeping and when i did, i experienced the most lucid, tripped out dreams, ever! which were kinda neat but i was wayyy tired when i woke up. when i ran out of patches, i just smoked a lot more too. i really suck at using those patches.
sooo, with the disgusting method my good friend used, i bought a can or copenhagen pouches.
i probily should have gotten some flavored skoal or something because these cope pouches TASTE HORRIFIC! haha.
the smell is pretty rank too.
and this smell is exactly why i am writing this blog.
this smell made me think of being a little dude.

my dad dips tobacco. or he used to. i really dont know.
he did when i was a little shit in virginia. thats where i lived.
i remember how he would hide it. i would always wonder what was going on with that circular object in his pocket. sometimes it was in the door pocket of out van.
i remember he also chewed trident gum.
when i asked for a piece of gum, he would give me one.
but this gum didnt smell as minty and i expected, never when it came out of his pocket.
he would pull the pack of gum out of his pocket along with pennies, receipts, and of course, the can of chew.
i would put the gum in my mouth and it tasted old, minty but old with a hint of my dad's pocket.
i always thought that smell was pennies. when i was little, the only pennies i came across was the ones from my dad's pocket.
this was a familiar smell of my dad.
loose change and chewing tobacco.

and some pictures of a 1990's lower-middle class family on the next entry
(my scanner is sucking)

them and their bullshit

Ah these fucking kittens!
stay the fuck away and out of my room. you make everything itchy.
and you make everything stink. fucking kittens!
these creatures torture me. only when im not around tho.
they open my door and party up storms.
i went into my room and everything was trashed. my cloths are more that everywhere.
they were already on thrown around because of me but i swear these kittens were trying on my style and weren't too down.
this is when they decided to put viruses on my computer.
"8 INFECTIONS! THE KITTYS DID IT! BWAHHHXPLODE!"

they ate a hat and some wood too. fuck more messes.
AND THEIR FACES! they are so mean.

the moment i walk in. they all look like a buncha hoodlums getting stoned and contemplating their attack on a rival gang. OR JUST MORE SHIT IN MY ROOM!



than i chase them a little. sometimes the run out the door but most times its behind my mattress or behind the computer.
they turn my computer off every time!
like they have magnets in their paws to the off button on the power strip.
i am fucking allergic to cats, they break shit (only in my room, like my external hard drive, ya), and nobody gives a fuck.
sure i guess there is no sympathy and this is you showing me how you felt.
fuck that.


THEYRE SO DAMN CUTE THO!

OH MY GARAGE SURF, INDIE FOLK

Help

This post was originally intended to sport their two newest albums as their band name is Thee Oh Sees. My apologies please. I love this song at least. Sir David Sitek of TV on the Radio helped produce the album from which this song plays. They were OCS than.


The Dumb Drums Mp3

Go check out the 2 albums by Thee Oh Sees. I cant get them off of my playlist.
I think a lot of it has to do with album art and titles.
Ive recently have grown an obsession with the whole surf punk and this band does it great for me.

The Master's Bedroom Is Worth Spending a Night In



Anyways. I love you and listen to the track. Honestly, I wish i had more to say but I was woke up in the rudest of fashions and am still not really up. Also in reality, other than Thee Oh Sees being bad ass, I only posted this blog to test out the media player. Click that link that says The Dumb Drums and listen to it!

BAHY.

(update* WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING WRONG WITH THE MEDIA PLAYER!!?!?)

the conflict between trust and paranoia

i'm supposed to trust my family
but what reasons do they have to have faith in me?
why are they so passive aggressive
am i missing something?
wouldnt family tell me if im digging too deep
deep enough for them to feel it?
if they "do" feel it.
why would they let me take them under?
i dont like how i get looked at
i dont feel like i have family.
i call my people friends, if they are family to me
i get this from my dad.
family isnt this for that.
i dont consider myself to have friends
because i cant trust them?
i can trust them tho.
i dont let myself trust anyone
its a problem that i have
i have no reason to distrust them
theyve shown me their faith
maybe im reflecting what i see in myself onto others.
but i think i am a good person.
i try hard and am filled with respect.
or is this just another thing i try to convince myself of
sometimes i feel like i may have a condition and
nobody is telling me because they wouldnt want to hurt my feelings,
or something
help me with an example.
i dont honestly believe i have a problem.
but i sure get the vibe.
maybe im a hard person to enjoy.
i feel like at any moment, my friends or family, will show me something.
something that will hurt
something that will make me realize how fucked up i am
buy why would anyone bother with such an event.
this is what makes it ridiculous.
i might be subconsciously keeping my spirits up
by convincing myself that nothing is wrong
like playing ignorant.
drinking and acting like a jackass
to make my self laugh
forgetting and pretending like there is nothing wrong
keeping my hands busy
doing things to help myself get out
and go somewhere new.
just to start the cycle all over again.
because it will happen again.
i just end up feeling that way.

i will be very lonely unless i learn to trust.

i put things in the clouds

i find myself pretty dis-interesting. not too witty, a very dry person.
i guess sometimes i'm fun to be around.
i notice my dryness when i'm with someone, 1 on 1.
it seems like the experience always lacks when its just me and one other person.
there is always a lot less talking, unless its about a problem.
nothing usually fun. stories aren't usually made.
i wonder if its because of me.
or do i surround myself with boring people?
maybe im not enthusiastic enough.
this lack of withs and enthusiasm, i may have, is probably what makes these experiences,
collectively idle.
i put things in the clouds.

Exercise 1

Inhale real deep. god what a mess. the smoke fights the air and scatters out the window. i really like what the fog looks like at night around certain lights on the interstate. i know exactly which lights are going to fuel my appreciation. they are very tall and the actual bulbs almost orbit around the top of the pole. my coughing is not effective, almost tho. i should quit smoking because i want to sing well. i cant hold a pitch because i smoke too much. i am too busy all of the time. i seldom have time for myself. the wind is violent so i have to turn the music up pretty loud to hear it. all of the windows are down. tonight feels good outside tonight but the weather is sure getting under my skin. this town and this life. tomorrow i have school and have to walk jared from his school back to my house. this kid yells everything he says! i ask him about girls at his school and he hates it. 8 years old is young tho. him and i had a lot of fun at heb last week. we ran a lot and yelled a lot.
im done and dont want to keep going.
til next time

writing about family becuase its on my mind

its been getting to me a bit lately about family.
i think this is the age where you are supposed to understand that you are in it on your own.
but that is ridiculous. why cant we be in it together for ever?
its something of an interesting feeling when someone who you never met loves you just because.
why do they love me? i was never there for them and have never even spent time with them.
its hard to match up to their love. i feel i need to fill their cup with something sweet.
just to make it real.
i also wish i was a better brother. surely a better example.
i wish i was someone they could look up to. i feel pretty small.
i wish i was the brother that stood up for my younger brother rather than picked on him.
also that i didn't introduce him to certain things.
i wish i would have been brave enough to fight in the defense of honor.
my family doesn't say much to me when i call them. or even when they call me.
at this rate there seems to be no growth.
is this how it is supposed to be?
are they trying to get a point across by not saying anything?
i feel like they're slowly weening me out of their thoughts.
i miss my little brother. i look up to the kid. he's my hero.

busy and something else

Good music. I've come across a band called Holiday Shores from Tallahassee. A good dose of reverberated hipster surf rock. I LOVE IT.
Maybe you should listen to them as you read.
Holiday Shores - Columbus'd the Whim


I AM ALWAYS BUSY! I am always somewhere and something else.
I also got a traffic ticket yesterday. I never speed, EVER, but this time I did. Whadda you know, right when we pull into Tascha's school to go out for lunch, there was a cop behind us. I was driving and Trish was on the phone with Tascha. "No, we arent getting pulled, oh wait, yes we are." DAMMIT! Speeding ticket, failure to show proof of insurance and a break light out.
This one will be hefty.
Last night, we went to an acquaintance's house to drink and such. I met this guy on craigslist. While living in killeen/fthood, most of my social relationships are rooted from this website. All of them were through ads on the musician board or through people I met on the musician board. All except Tascha tho, because shes a creeper, but its a good thing.
I got off topic.
I don't like drinking liquor so I brought beer. Also i was driving, so I only had three.
It was fun?
I'm more of a porch drinker. At gatherings like last night's, I don't have as good of a time. I feel like I wasted time actually. I would much rather drink with close friends and not just drink to get compleatly shitfaced. I enjoy drinking games for sure, but once a game is over, everyone seems instantly bored. We did play some music tho.
Open tunings make the world easier.
I have to go to the school today.
I never wanted to go to school.
I have always felt like I have the drive to get somewhere with out it. So, why pay for something you feel like you REALLY dont need. Well, it turns out, you cant do much with out good marks and a paper to prove it. Like having credit.
Something to make it look like I did something. When it reality, I just followed the standard plan.
That doesn't sound like me, doing something for myself, on my own. Not to me.

Cockoo Nest

today starts the journey to bring artistic culture into a culture-less town.

cuckoo nest club hosts a poetry reading that started last friday and i am off work for the evening.

i'm tired of stomping on the floor just to make a noise.
and i am tired of tanks firing throughout the night, making my walls crack.
time to listen to something different



time to go hear someones voice.